A NEW ADVENTURE BEGINS

My fifteen year journey has come to an end and now a new adventure begins.  It has taken me all of those fifteen years and yes, probably a few more than that, to find my biological father.  There have been so many ups and downs, mountains, and valleys, but I kept on.  And thanks to DNA I have found him.

I had known since I was eight years old that the man I called daddy wasn't my real father but my mother was very closed mouth about telling me anything.  Every time I asked the question of who was my father, where did my father live, the answer I got was "I don't know."

I gave up after so many years of that.  My mother took her secret to the grave with her.

In 1996 I got serious about finding out who my ancestors were.  A friend suggested that I write to the city and state where my parents got their divorce.  I did. I will never forget the day I received the paper work.  As I read each sentence from the petitioner, my father, my mouth dropped further.  My mind raced back through the years and all the stories I'd heard about my mother swirled.   I felt like I was in slow motion and I kept repeating "Oh my goodness." 

I reached for the stool by the kitchen counter and sat down.  From the petitioner's request for the divorce I started reading the respondent's, my mother, answer.  Another "Oh my goodness."

My father stated he caught my mother with another man, Bud Wyburn, and from that union my mother had a child.  The child's birthday was my birthday.  Another "Oh my goodness."

My mother's answer was "yes" that was true! 

From that point on I began my search.  Since my parents, and myself, were all from Minnesota I started writing letters to anyone and everyone with the last name of Wyburn that lived in the vicinity of Minnesota, Iowa, and Wisconson.  Thank goodness postage was cheaper then!

From those letters I was put in touch with a lady in Wisconson and she has worked with me all these years to figure out the answer.  In 2007 I had my DNA done with Family Tree.  I upgraded several time even doing the Family Finder.  Now mind you I did find some relatives, but all on my mother's side of the family.  That was fun finding out that information.  But I wanted more.  We are all like that.  We want more.  I was on a mission and I was going to find the answer.  My brother says I'm like a blood hound.  Yep!

Then when Ancestry started doing DNA I jumped right in.  When I first started with them they told you that you had a certain percentage of British Isles, European, and so on.  Now they have broken it down to a much better understanding.  When I found out I was 1% Native American I got goose bumps.  Wyburn's great grandmother was full blooded Sac Indian.  She survived the Black Hawk War in 1832. 

Soooooo I asked my friend, which by this time I found out she was a fourth cousin to Wyburn if she would take the test for me.  We were no match.  Back to the drawing board.  This was one of my very deep valleys.

Up to this point I was looking for something, someone who matched Alfred Wyburn and me.  Then this last week it happened.  Even though my friend, who is now my fourth/fifth cousin, still does not match me through Ancestry but we have eleven, yes eleven, same matches.  I have a third cousin that is a fifth cousin to my cousin!  We have a match.........we are cousins.  Alfred Wyburn is my biological father!!!

Of course if a closer match, say a first cousin, would take the test it would prove with out a shadow of a doubt that I am right.  But, I am comfortable with my decision until I am proven wrong. 

You may ask yourself how can I feel so confident about this.  There are several other factors that play into this equation that I've not mentioned, but between all of it I am confident.

Stay tuned....

Until then........................
  

WE ARE ALL RELATED--BELIEVE IT OR NOT!

I have come to the conclusion that we are all related right on back to Adam and Eve.  Oh wait, we are!  It's written in the Word.

Seriously though, it's mind boggling figuring out how you are related to another person through DNA.  I keep thinking Ancestry just messed up and put my link to someone along with my friend (cousin) DNA.  I call her my cousin because I am convinced even more so that we are related.

We've been friends now for almost twelve years and I finally talked her into having her DNA done.  I am the manager of both of our accounts.  Long story.......anyway this past month we have two people that have shown up on both of our matches. 

Let me explain.  If you have been following my blog you know I'm searching for my biological father and through writing letters (yes, way back a few years ago you wrote letters to find answers) I found a person who was researching her lineage.  We teamed up together and found out it really does look like we have the right person.  My biological father and her cousin, the same person.

Now you say "well that should easily be solved by doing both of our DNA".  Wrong.  There is no match between us that shows.  But we have same names that shows up on both of our lists.  Mind boggling!!!

There are too many consequences pointing us both in the same direction.  I'd like to say for certain I have found the right person but there is still that nagging thought of maybe I'm wrong.  I've done so much research on this person I really feel like I know him quite well. 

I'm sure someday someone close to him will have their DNA done and BINGO!  A match!  So until that day, guess I'll continue searching, just to make sure I'm not jumping the gun.  Really wouldn't want that to happen. 

Until then....................more research..................more......more...............etc


    

SO CLOSE AND YET SO FAR

Well I started this post the first part of the week!  I saved it to a draft because I got interrupted and now blog won't let me go back to it to finish!  I am soooo upset with BlogSpot.  Don't be surprised if I leave a message that I've moved.

ANYWAY.....why I'm so close but yet so far.

DNA of course.  I've been waiting for someone very close to me (at least I think she is) to have her DNA done so I can move on.  But that hasn't happened.  I can understand her feelings of not really wanting to find out, but you can understand mine for wanting to find out.........if we have the same father. 

But then again I have a third cousin that is a match and so far the names listed do not belong to anyone on my mother's side of the family.  Now you would think yea....it's got to be my father.  AND I have found a name that is a match to his great grandmother's name.  EBERLE......and I'm trying to figure out where that plays into the grand scheme of things.

When I saw the name, EBERLE,  my heart started racing.  I became giddy, excited, overjoyed, nervous,and any of the other words that describes zealous.  But it is a slow process to figure out where each piece of the puzzle fits.  Patience is the key word.  Oh, Lord, help me.  As you know I lack patience!

I'm off today for a few days genealogy hunting in the great New England states so I will be away from my blog until probably Oct 10th.  Even then, I hope I can get on BlogSpot to blog.  Will keep you posted on that situation.

Until then..........

OBSESSION

Obessed, Obession, fixated, one-track, preoccupied, lost in, hounded, nagged, vexed, and maybe even bewitched.  All of the above is a discription of me this past month or two. 

Let me catch you up to speed here.  Ancestry posted a 98% match to me on DNA.  None of the names were names I had been researching in my tree.  Wow, I thought, this is the link to my father.  I was giddy with excitement.  Ancestry said the hit was possibly a third cousin.  This is close. 

The more I worked on the names in the tree the more frustrated I got.  Nothing was adding up.  My people were coming from IA, MN, SD, England, and Germany.  The 98% match was all from VA, NC, AR, and England.  HELP!

I got on the phone to my brother and told him about my frustration.  He said okay it's time I had my DNA done on Ancestry to see where we stand with your match.  He did and he is also a 98% match to this hit.  Now this eliminates any possibilities of this being from my father's side.  My brother and I have the same mother but different fathers.  Back to the drawing board.

A month and some has been lost to my frenzy researching the 98% match.  My writing took a back seat.  So here I am with only one new page to take to my writer's group tonight, not twelve pages.  I'll never get this book finished!

One way to look at it is that I have a GREAT picture of my 98% match.  I can tell you where they were born, raised, married, and all of their children.  But I can't find the match to me.  We are supposed to share the third great grandparents.  It isn't happening right now.  Either I have the wrong information or 98% does.  AND that can happen.

I once had my husband chase one of my Green ancestors to Duboise, WY only to find out I had the wong Sarah Green.  I had her married to Richard Green when in fact she married William Davis.  It is so easy to do.  But if you don't chase those leads you never know.  We did get to go to the Cheyene Rodeo though before we went to Duboise.  And the vacation was great.  I'd like to go again.  Let me see, oh yes, I did find one the Barnes relatives in northern WY through DNA.  Guess I could go visit them after the rodeo again.  Yes, we like rodeos!

Well back to work...........writing!

Until then.................................................. 

CHASING MORE RABBITS

Well I'd like to say I found my match but I haven't.  For about two weeks I thought I had it, finding my father.  I didn't.

My brother had his DNA done and he is also a 98% match to this person I'm a 98% match to.  So looks like it's back to the drawing board.

Now I have a 4" thick stack of paper with so much genealogy on it and I still haven't made the connection to this person.....go figure.

I know, in due time, I will find someone who is a match to me that will lead to my biological father.  But right now, ggrrrrrr.

Guess I will not take so much time out from my writing to chase rabbits. 

Until then.....................................

KATIE...DNA...OH MY

I'd like to say I have Katie's story finished, but I can't.  I can say I have a LOT of it done.  Still thinking of leaving it as a novella, but then, I could tell more about her life.  Especially since I've researched her life right down to the inth degree.  Well close anyway.

I feel like I know more about Katie than I do my own mother.  Ah, yes, my mother.  I do wish she would have been more open about her life.  Well, I know she wouldn't tell me everything, as I wouldn't tell my children everything of my younger days. 

Now this brings me back to DNA again.  Yes that ever present question that lingers in the back of my mind, that works it's way into my every thought most of the time.  DNA, the mutations that pass from one generation to the next. 

Mutations can be inherited or acquired.  When a mutation is inherited from a parent, it is present in almost all of the body's cells.  Acquired mutations are changes in the DNA that develop throught a person's life.

Here I go again.....I get so confused

I'm not going to go into all of that biology stuff.  I never took biology, chemistry, etc. in school.  Wasn't smart enough.  I do good to add one and one. 

Over the week end a name was added to my DNA match, third cousin, in Ancestry.  I do not recognize any name much less trying to figure out how come all the names are in Virginia, Arkansas, and Tennessee.  I was born in Minnesota.  How far apart is that!

Now third cousins are pretty close.  AND if I don't know who my father is, one of those names could be a lead. 

BUT, back to Katie.  I am working on her story, and will finish it and have it published this year.  Katie is dear to my heart.  We've become very close throughout the past three years.  Wow, I've been working on this story for three years.  Enough is enough.  YES, it will be finished this year.

And if and when I find the elusive father I will shout it out so everyone will hear!

Until then........................

DNA CLASS AT SAGHS

Monday morning and a review of the week end.  I was so busy, quality time with the hubby, Sunday drive on a Saturday, so it's nice to sit down at the computer and get the fingers flying over the keyboard again.  So much to get caught up on.

When I first moved back to San Antonio twelve years ago I joined the San Antonio Genealogical Historical Society so I could access their wonderful library.  I even donated a few items when I was finished with them. 

Through the years I let my membership lapse as the computer became my best friend, namely Ancestry.com.  Plus I didn't have to leave my house.  And Ancestry does not have a lot of history on their network.  I have found though, that the city library, county libraries,  and the historical library are still a wonderful resource, plus you have a live person there to assist you.  You don't have to pick up a phone and wait until it's your turn to talk, or listen to an automated voice that gives you the run around.

Check out the San Antonio City Library Genealogical Department at www.mysapl.org
Schertz Library Genealogical Departmart at www.schertzlibrary.org
San Antonio Genealogical and Historical Society at www.rootsweb.com/~txsaghs2


Sooo back to the DNA class that was conducted yesterday at the library.  Jeremy Balkin from Family Tree DNA gave a wonderful presentation.  He was patient with each one of us gray haired ndividuals, and answered their questions right down to the last dot and he even crossed the t's.

I highly recommend anyone that is interested in doing their DNA to go ahead and do it.  Even if it's just for fun.  Family Tree has several different prices and tests.  Their website is www.familytreedna.com

YDNA 37 markers special $129
YDNA 67 markers  special $209
mtDNA PLUS  $139
mtDNAFMS $209
Family Finder  $209

These prices were from the handout Jeremy distributed to the class. 

My first DNA test was the mtDNA because I didn't want to spend a lot of money.  That was six years ago.  Well I got a list of other people that had their's done too.........and the list was quite long.  I couldn't make sense of any of it.  I was so confused.

So I bit the bullett and upgraded and paid some more money.  More people, still couldn't figure it out.  Then I was able to go to a class on DNA and the individual who was conducting the class suggested if I really wanted to find out who my father was to take the Family Finder test.

MORE MONEY.....  I just couldn't bring myself to pay for another test.  My inner being fought back and forth.......I broke.  I did the Family Finder test. 

Sooo glad I did.  I did find fourth cousins, not the ones I'm looking for as they were cousins from my mother's father's line, who I already knew their parents but not the children.  I am still seeking anyone from my biological father's side.  (whoever that maybe)

I did learn more about the web site and how to read the numbers and such.  And I did learn that even though I had a cousin (we think we are fourth cousins) it may not show up on the results.  There is a 50% probability that fourth cousin will be a match.  A third cousin is a 90% and a second cousin is 99% match.   As I said before, Jeremy was very through and explained very well. 

Sooooo I'm still working on it.  What I'm sayin' is that if you are out there looking for a close match to yours then you need to try to find at least a third cousin.  Easier said than done, especially if you do not know who you are looking for.  Like a needle in a haystack.  But then the investigator in me is working hard to answer the hard question....."Who is he?"

Until then............................................   

SAN ANTONIO GENEALOGICAL HISTORICAL SOCIETY

If anyone is interested in DNA the San Antonio Genealogical Historical Society is having a speaker from Family Tree DNA on Sun 13 Jan 2013 at 2 p.m.  Cost is $5.00 per member and $10.00 non-member.  You will need to make a reservation by calling 210-342-5242.  Space is limited.
Their address is 911 Melissa Dr., San Antonio, TX.  Corner of Blanco and Melissa (outside of loop 410)

Also check out their web site if you need help in researching your Texas Heritage.
www.rootsweb.ancestry.com/txsaghs

Until then...................................

THE WAITING GAME

It's been a week, almost two since my cousin sent in her DNA sample.  I say my cousin because we are 99% sure we are cousins but the DNA will tell us for sure.

I found this cousin about ten years ago as I was looking for my biological father.  We would be fourth cousins.  Since then we've shared information when we found it.  Sent each other pictures.  Then about four years ago she introduced me to another cousin.  This cousin would be a first cousin.  Now this cousin has sent me a lot of pictures of her mother and uncle plus pictures of the grandparents.

One of the first pictures I received from the fourth cousin was a one of mother, grandmother, sister and brother.  The brother being (maybe) my father.  The first thing that struck me was, I have a baby picture just like this.  I rummaged through my pictures and sure enough I found the picture, same poise, head tilted the same way, looked the same age, hair line looked the same, and same cheeks.  Now I told myself I was reading something into this picture because I wanted it to be the right person. 

Fast forward now to two years ago when I looked at a picture of one of my grandsons.  In the back of my mind I said to myself I've seen this face before.  I pulled all the pictures out that my first cousin sent me and sure enough there was a picture of my father (?).  Same ears, nose, and smile.  I sent a copy to my daughter and asked her if he looked familiar.  She agreed that it looked like her son.

So, now here I sit waiting for the results of the DNA.  Hoping that all my circumstances will pay off.  Were all these pictures something I was wanting to see in my mind.  Or will all of this together tell me that this man really is my father?

I'm on pins and needles.......but the friendship I've made with the fourth cousin will remain in my eyes and mind will always be my fourth cousin, no matter what.

Until then.......................

More DNA

Okay so I'm hooked on DNA.  Although I haven't found a link to my father it is fascinating.  I found a fourth cousin, that I was able to verify, and a lot of other cousins that I haven't found the link yet.

My husband has been wondering what his back ground is now.  Even though we know for sure there is Irish and French, there could be some Scandinavian in there.  You know how those Vikings wandered all over the earth sailing across the oceans!

My girl friend just found out she is middle European and Scandinavian.  She had no idea.  See what I mean.

Each day my husband comes home and asks.  "Did my results come in yet?" 

I'm just as eager as he is. We did his through Ancestry.com.  I've had mine done through
Family Tree DNA and Ancestry.com.  What if we are related?  Oh wait, we are.  Of course it's through a long distant cousin's line.  Then again, when you think about it, we are all related in some way or another.  Life began with Adam and Eve!

Until then.........................

VIEWING MY DNA......AGAIN

Yesterday I was looking over my dna stats again, still trying to figure out who and how I'm related to all the people that have some of the same dna as I have.  It was very interesting to see that there are about three people out there that are trying to figure out their own background, because they were adopted.

I, at least,know who my mother is and have the possibility of three men to be my father, and I know their names.  I just have to find a match to one of their line, which I'm having a hard time trying to do.  It seems no one from their lines have had their dna done.

Then there is that other obstacle.  The man my mother was married to were first cousins once removed.  SOOOO I am technically related to him and his relatives!!!  Oh woe is me.

Well it isn't exactly woe is me, but I am forging ahead.  When the time is right God is going to let me know.  Guess it just isn't my time to know, at least not yet.

Until then.....................

FIGURING OUT DNA

Just when I think I have it all figured out, I get confused again.  Of course that's not hard for a blond that's turned grey.  I'd like to think it's premature grey but I guess it's about time I got a few grey hairs.  Yea, right, like I asked for a head full of grey hair.

Okay....enough of that.  I sat down with pen in hand.  Did the print out on kinship relations to myself and then tried to figure out my second cousins.  I'm pretty clear on first cousins.  Here it is....my mother's cousins are my second cousins.  I think.  Oh man now I have to go read my paper again.

See what I mean, it's so confusing.  I'm going to let it go for a couple of days and set a fresh pair of eyes on it again.  First and foremost I have got to get the keys a tinglin' and get some pages going on Nathaniel if I want this done by at least June.  Give me an at a boy there.

Until then.......................

DNA AND GENEALOGY

This DNA stuff is driving me up the wall.  What I'm saying here is that it's mind boggling.  Well my mind can't quite grasp it.  I've had the mtdna and the Family Finder tests done.  So alright, the person I'm looking for has not has their DNA done, I get that.  But with more and more that have had theirs done I'm not coming up with a close enough match to me to say I belong to that line.

Let me back up here.  My mother had an affair when she was married.  This was during WWII when our servicemen were gone for long periods of time.  When you think about it not much has changed down through the ages.  And people are people, things happen.  Anyway, she had a child from this affair but I carry the surname of the man she was married to.

Now you are asking me how do I know this.  No one said a word, it was carried to their graves.  When I got my mother's divorce papers (I was three when they divorced) it was stated by her husband that she had the affair and a child was born from that affair.  The birthday that was listed was mine.  Need I say more.

Every time I asked my mother about my father she gave me vague answers like oh he was nice or I guess he still lives in Minnesota.  Not the answers I wanted.  I wrote to him once and he was nice enough when he answered my letter.  He touched on surface subjects like I'm married, nice job, I have a son, things like that.

So back to DNA.  I wanted to know if this man named in the divorce papers was really my father.  So far I'm getting 3rd, 4th, and 5th cousins.  And I'm not matching any names they have listed that they are researching.  It's so frustrating!

Maybe I'm not reading it right.  But with persistence I will find out, somehow.  If you are having the same problem or one like it keep working.

Until then....................